Torchwood theature 2
by MoonlightWonderer
Summary: Yet enougher msical from torchwood theature u dont have to read the first one but this one gives some funny mental images. Rating change to audiences demand.


A/N: As there seemed to be a very enfusiastic responce to can u feel teh love tonight by request of my mate i have decided to do her fav song from chicago. i no your all thinking there isnt enough females in torchwood to do it well just wait and see we have 2 gay males and one well who knows with own i think it counts. We have backing dancers with no names. so please sit back and enjoy.

**bold (person speeking)**

_Stage directions._

singing

talking.

**Unknown narrator**: Torchwood theature Proudly presents Captian Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Ionto Jones, Owen Harper and Tosh Santo and Matha Jones in the cell block tango.

_Curtain opens to show the torchwood cells all members standing in a seperate cell. Gwen and tosh in the traditonal Chicago dress, the guys all in skin tight black tops and jeans._

**Gwen **_throwing head back all so sexy: _Pop!

**Tosh** _in splits:_ Six!

**Jack **_crouching: _Squish!

**Ionto**: Uh Uh

**Owen **_has a ciggy: _Cicero _Smoke puffs_

**Matha** _holding one leg up over her head: _Lipschitz!

**Gwen:** Pop!

**Tosh**: Six!

**Jack**: Squish!

**Ionto**: Uh Uh

**Owen**: Cicero _(smoke puffs)_

**Martha**: Lipschitz!

_All start to move rubbing against each other (expecially Jack and Ionto)._

**Gwen:** Pop!

**Tosh**: Six!

**Jack:** Squish!

**Ionto**: Uh Uh

**Owen**: Cicero _(smoke puffs)_

**Martha:** Lipschitz!

**Gwen**: Pop!

**Tosh**: Six!

**Jack**: Squish!

**Ionto**: Uh Uh

**Owen**: Cicero _(smoke puffs)_

**Martha**: Lipschitz!

**Gwen**: Pop!

**Tosh**: Six!

**Jack**: Squish!

**Ionto**: Uh Uh

**Owen**: Cicero _(smoke puffs)_

**Martha**: Lipschitz!

**All**: He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

**Owen** _pointing to roof and nearly sticking his finger up gwens nose_

I betcha you would have done the same!

**Gwen** _arms around owens neck:_Pop!

**Tosh:**Six!

**Jack **_rubbing his hands over Iontos chest_:Squish!

**Ionto**:Uh Uh

**Owen **_still smoking much to gwens anoyance_:Cicero _(smoke puffs)_

**Martha** _looking a little left out:_Lipschitz!

**Gwen **_steps out of cells as it opens with a series of beeps and over to a backing dancer basically using him as a pole to dance around_

**Gwen:**

You know how people

have these little habits

That get you down. Like Rhys.

Rhys liked to chew gum.

No, not chew. POP.

So I came home this one day

And I am really irritated, and I'm

looking for a bit of sympathy

and there's Rhys layin'

on the couch, drinkin' a beer

and chewin'. No, not chewin'.

Poppin'. So, I said to him,

I said, "you pop that

gum one more time..."

and he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall

and I fired two warning shots...

...into his head.

**Torchwood team:**

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

**Owen **_once again ppoint to the roof and nearly sticking his finger up jacks nose who promptly threatened to fire him: _I betcha you would

Have done the same!

_Tosh steps forward wiggles around gwen who is still dancing to get to her own backing dancer_

**Tosh:**

I met Adam Young from

Salt Lake city about two years ago

and he told me he was single

and we hit it off right away.

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd

fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.

And then I found out,

_Tosh pushes her guy to the ground and jumps over him in the splits landing just over his groin (at this poitn all the guys flinch)_

**Tosh** continued:

"Single" he told me?

Single, my ass. Not only

was he married

...oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know. So that

night, when he came home, I fixed him

his drink as usual.

You know, some guys just can't hold

their arsenic.

**Gwen , Tosh, Martha and jack** _gwen and tosh dancing very saucily with the backing dancers and Martha and JAck making out in a cell:_

Hah! He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!

**Owen and Ionto** seemly making out in a cell:

Pop, six, squish, uh-uh

Cicero, Lipschitz

**Jack** _coming out and after rubibng himself over the girls much to there diapleasure goes to his own dancer being watched by a very jelous ionto: _Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

carvin' up the chicken for dinner,

minding my own business,

and in storms my husband Wilbur,

in a jealous rage.

"You been screwin' the milkman,"

he says. He was crazy

and he kept screamin',

"you been screwin the milkman."

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times.."

**All:** If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!

**Ionto **_ignoreing the sudeen silence and the gobsmaked faces of him team member that he can speek an other language, Dancing a simple waltz wiht his partner: _Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják,

hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg

lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan

vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja

Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam

a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...

**Everyone else**: Yeah, but did you do it?

**Ionto** _shakes head:_UH UH, not guilty!

_Gwen, Tosh, Ionto and Jack all do a slow waltz as Owen steps forward to two backing dancers._

**Owen** _doing some major gymnastics_

My sister, Veronica and

I had this double act

and my Grilfriend

traveled around with us.

Now, for the last number in

our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks

_does stunts as he names them_

one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles,

back flips,flip flops,

one right after the other.

Well, this one night we were in the hotel Cicero,

the three of us,

boozin' and

havin' a few laughs

when we run out of ice.

So I went out to get some.

I come back, open the door

and there's Veronica and

my gal doing number 17

the spread eagle.

_Drops o the floor in a half crouch_

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out.I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

when I was washing the blood off my hands

I even knew they were dead.

_all dancing in teh same dominat manner with there partners_

**Owen:** They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along

I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

_pushes hter partners away and start doing united dancing all do the same moves very forcefully_

**Owen**: They had it coming

**Everyone else: **They had it coming

**Owen:** They had it coming

**Everone else**: They had it coming

**Owen: **They had it coming

**Everone else**: They took a flower

**Owen**: All along

**Everone else**: In its prime

**Owen**: I didn't do it

**Everone else**: And then they used it

**Owen**: But if I'd done it

**Everone else:** And they abused it

**Owen:** How could you tell me

**Everone else:** It was a murder

**Owen**: That I was wrong?

**Everone else:** But not a crime!

_All get into a cycle with Martha in the middle (and jack still cant keep his hands to himself)_

**Martha** _dacing around a pole_ : I loved The Doctor

more than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy...

sensitive... a painter.

But

He was always trying

to find himself.

He'd go out every night

looking for himself

and on the way

he found Rose

Sarah

Donna and Mickey.

I guess you can say we broke

up because of artistic differences.

He saw himself as alive

and I saw him dead. (even if he cant die)

**ALL**

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

_all once again get very forcefull strutting around on the stage and stmaping there feet_

**Gwen, Jack and Tosh**: They had it comin'

**Owen and Martha, Ionto:** They had it comin'

**Gwen, Jack and Tosh**: They had it comin'

**Owen and Martha, Ionto:** They had it comin'

**Gwen, Jack and Tosh**: They had it comin'

**Owen and Martha, Ionto:** They had it comin'

**Gwen, Jack and Tosh: **They had it comin'

**Owen and Martha, Ionto:** All along

'Cause if they used us

'Cause if they used us And they abused us

And they abused us

**All** _now in the process Of forcefull dancing/ making out (ecepecilly jacka nd Ionto who seem to be missing a top): _How could you tell us That we were wrong?

That we were wrong?

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had

Himself

To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha

You would

Have done

The same!

**Gwen:** _sticks up one finger_ You pop that gum one more time!

**Tosh:** Single my ass.

**Jack** _holds up 9 fingers: _Ten times!

**Ionto **_Holding Jakc in death grip:_Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe.

**Owen **_trying to do the splits without hurting his man hood and making his voice go higher: _Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

**Martha:** Artistic differences.

**Gwen:** Pop!

**Tosh:** Six!

**Jack:** Squish!

**Ionto:** Uh Uh

**Owen** _having enougher ciggy_ Cicero _(smoke puffs)_

**Martha:** Lipschitz!

_All strike a sexy pose and hold it as curtain comes down._

**Unknown narator:** Thank you for watching give it up for Captian Jack

_jack come out and bows_

Gwen

_gwen the reaeats the action staning next to jack and kissing him on the cheek_

Owen and Tosh

_they come on hand in hand and give a very dramatic bow_

Ionto Jones

_ionto come out bows very stiffly before beaming and kissing the life out of Jack_

and finally for a one time only martha jones

_comes out all proper and blows a kiss to the audience_

thanks for watching.

_all bow._

**A/N: R And R now people remember if u havent got anything nice to say DONT SAY IT.**


End file.
